Driving Me Bonkers

I don't care for driving. I didn't learn until I was in my mid-twenties, and I've never really considered it to be an essential skill (there is always walking or public transport or other people who just love to drive), particularly here in the Land Of Trains (speaking of which, my train back from my french lesson today was 50 minutes late!! 50 minutes!! That's unheard of. Apparently there was some train crisis between Geneva and Lausanne, and then when the train did arrive, the doors didn't open! Some dude had to come along and unlock them all with a key! A key! etc). Anyway, I did eventually get my license in Australia, sadly after they had changed the rules which meant that as well as the written exam and practical exam, I also had to do two extra written exams and labour under various speed and blood alcohol limitations for years longer than everyone else my age. Not that I cared much, since I never really drove anywhere anyway.

Anyway, since being in Switzo I have heard numerous things from numerous foreigners about how the process of using your foreign license to get a Switzy one is easy as pie, and involves nothing more than posting some stuff off and doing an eye test (which actually could be more arduous than you would imagine for someone with eyesight as perfect (no false modesty here) as mine, because my grasp of the pronunciation of lots of letters in both french and german is a bit dubious. Assuming it's a "what are the letters in the fourth row?" type test. For some reason in my french lessons, having missed the first week, I never really learnt the alphabet and when one day the teacher said to me "You, say the alphabet!" I just made random noises until I got to Z and never learnt the more direct route). Great, I thought. Today I got my assistant (Reto) to look into it all for me, and ...

... he tells me that the rule in this stupid canton is that I have to do a stupid written test. Which is of course totally fair enough, and if I'm going to be honest about it I'd really think that that's not enough because as an uninterested lefty-driver I don't think I would be particularly confident or great at becoming a righty-driver, but I don't want to do another stupid driving test! And I have to do it in french, german or italian! Aaagh.