Exercising My Democratic Rights Sounds Too Much Like Hard Work

I really enjoy voting*. One of the things I like so much about it is the place where I usually go to do it. As you Australians will know, we generally end up voting at schools. The school I often vote at is one at which my sister was briefly a student when she was 8 or so. The room in which voting is conducted is a room in which she was a munchkin (the girl from over the road was the Wicked Witch, I think), and also where she was in the chorus for Joseph and his Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat (always the bridesmaid and never the bride, it seems). On the wall is Captain Scott's sled from his "journey to discover the South Pole" (or so says the accompanying sign). I like the little carboard booths and the sausage sizzles and cake stalls. I don't even hate all the electioneering people who grin like morons and harrass you with their "how to vote" blurbs (well, actually I do hate them, but for the sake of my own mini-melodrama I am prepared to lie).

Anyway. Here I am now in Switzerland with a state election looming back in sunny Australia. Last time something like this happened I was slaving away in a ski resort in the USA for $7 an hour, and my postal vote form was inadvertently sent to my address in Australia instead of my address in Leadville, highest town in America (10 430 feet). To try to avoid this happening again I thought it would be good to fill in the relevant forms as soon as possible. Off I went, therefore, to the electoral commission website and everything was looking shiny and promising until I came across the bit about getting an "authorised person" to sign my form for me. Apparently "authorised persons" include the following:

(a) an officer of the naval, military or air forces of the Commonwealth or of some other part of the Queen’s dominions;

(b) a person employed in the Public Service of the Commonwealth or of a Territory of the Commonwealth or of a part of the Queen’s dominions;

(c) a Justice of the Peace or a minister of religion or medical practitioner resident in a territory of the Commonwealth or a part of the Queen’s dominions; or

(d) An Australian citizen.

Hmm. I'm nowhere near anyone in the employ of the Commonwealth or a part of the Queen's dominions, and, strangely enough I haven't come across any other Australian citizens in the whole time I have been in Switzerland.

So, what to do? When I was 17 the electoral commission used to send me the occasional threatening letter suggesting that if I didn't enrol to vote immediately they would be taking me to court at the soonest possible time and crushing me under the full weight of the law. Apparently they know who I am and like to keep an eye on me to make sure I make the most of my democratic rights. Does this mean that if I don't pop down to Ye Olde Penny Farthing tomorrow night, attract the attention of the entire room and say "Is anyone here an Australian citizen? Can you just sign my postal vote form for me?" that I will again have the book thrown at me (or at least be fined $50)?


* For those of you who are either foreign or extremely poorly informed, voting is compulsory in Australia and if you don't do it you are fined.