When Art And Life Overlap (part one)

Shortly before I left Australia I was given a copy of The Swiss Family Robinson by a very dear friend. Now that I have read it (actually, I started it on Saturday night and I haven't finished it yet, thanks to my relentlessly annoying boyfriend and his apparent need for constant attention) I have some extremely interesting and relevant points to make about the unchanging nature of the Swiss psyche. Please bear in mind that the book was written in 1812.

1. The Swiss are a bunch of misogynistic bastards. This should come as no surprise to anyone who realises that WOMEN WEREN'T EVEN ALLOWED TO VOTE IN THIS COUNTRY UNTIL 1971. In 1812, our friend Frau Robinson, aka "the wife" or "the mother" (as in "The mother found the scene all too horrible, and hastened into the cave, trembling and distressed") is one-dimensional to say the least. Her only emotions seem to be negative ones. She is usually fearful, anxious, horrified, aghast. Rarely does she get the chance to speak in whole sentences, and when she does it is usually only to panic needlessly, or to say something that, as her husband kindly points out, is incorrect (after suggesting that her sons should not eat the snake they just killed, her husband corrects her. "Excuse me, my dear wife", he begins, before elaborating proudly on all the reasons why she was wrong to hamper her sons so). On the occasions when she manages to escape her husband's withering embrace and actually do something herself, she is patronised almost into a coma ("You have done far more than I could have expected, wife", "Did you not find the work too hard?"). She can never be left at their house alone without at least an 8 year old boy or a dog there to protect her. She cannot be trusted with a gun, even though everyone else, even the 8 year old, is armed to the teeth. Not to ruin the plot for you, towards the end of the book another person turns up, an English woman in her 20s. She has been self-sufficient after being shipwrecked some 3 years previously (and has achieved much, "the quarter of which would completely have appalled the generality of her sex", apparently), but as soon as the Swiss Family Robinson find her they can hardly wait to get her into a dress, leave her to wait with "the mother" whenever there is work to be done, and to insist that even inspecting all aspects of the house where TSFR live would "tire the poor girl out".
Compare this to Switzerland today, where, as mentioned, women have only recently begun to vote, they are vastly underrepresented in full time work, in parliament, in upper management type employment, where they earn significantly less than men in equivalent roles, where childcare places are scarce to the point of non-existence and where school hours are so variable that women have often little choice but to entirely leave the workforce when they have children. At least the wife Robinson was only the last of 6, not the last of 7 million.

2. The Swiss like weapons. In TSFR (as it shall henceforth be known) the menfolk are obsessed with running around the island and shooting everything in sight (obviously Mrs Robinson is at home cooking and cleaning and sewing new clothes for everyone, as befits a woman. Hopefully she finds time to have an affair with an impressionable young graduate, too, in between peeling kangaroos and being thoroughly patronised for managing to collect a few acorns). Every time the menfolk see a flock of flamingos wading in a marsh or a brace of penguins frolicking on the beach, little time is spared for wonderment at these scenes of natural beauty before someone whips out a gun, shoots everything they possibly can and then they all comment on how well they will eat tonight. Even better is the opportunity to slaughter some sort of animal that has never been either seen or killed before ("Franz was overjoyed to find that he had shot a 'new creature' "). Rarely does anyone walk more than a few metres without first arming themselves with at least one gun, usually more, as well as a bow and arrows and a lasso. Sticks are often flailed against the treacherous creatures they come across (such as the wildly dangerous angora bunnies), and they have no hesitation in throwing rocks at monkies, setting their dogs loose on porcupines, or harpooning tortoises.
Note the current fondness of the Swiss for being in the army and bearing weapons. Note their obligatory target practice twice a year (or however often it is). Note their souvenir of note, the Swiss Army Knife. Note my boyfriend's bayonet (no innuendo, please).

3. The Swiss like to eat dead things. See point number 2 with regard to killing everything they see. No animal is safe from being eaten by the Swiss Family Robinson.
I don't know about actual statistics or so-called evidence that the Switzies are a bunch of carnivores, but every time I go anywhere here I feel like someone is making me eat another rabbit or cow or mystery-meat product. You have no idea how happy the sight of a chick pea makes me these days.