Sunday 1 June 2008

Vampire Sheep

I've just finished reading Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood. It wasn't my favourite thing of hers I've read, which is possibly why the most striking thing about it for me at the moment is the totally bizarro description of stuff you buy at markets and in second-hand shops as being like "vampire sheep", as in

"How difficult these objects are to dispose of, I thought; they lurk passively, like vampire sheep, waiting for someone to buy them".


Is that what vampire sheep do? They lurk passively? They wait for somone to buy them? It doesn't sound very plausible to me. I don't think that normal vampires (ie. of the non-sheep variety) tend to lurk passively or wait for people to buy them (that's based on my having once upon a time been an enthusiastic viewer of Buffy The Vampire Slayer). I suppose normal sheep might be described as passive lurkers, but I don't think that they are necessarily waiting to be bought.

And why "vampire sheep"? Why sheep (you'll have to trust me that the vampire thing makes sense in the context of the book)? And what do vampire sheep do (apart from lurk passively and wait to be bought)? Do they drink the blood of other sheep? Or do they go for human blood (imagine waking up at night to discover yourself being bitten by a crazed vampire sheep instead of by a darkly handsome vampire person. Confusing.). I wonder if all that wool makes it harder to stab them through the heart. Buffy would have to get a whole new repertoire of moves to use on them, because a lot of her high kicks etc would go right over the heads of any vampire sheep adversaries she might meet (as would much of her witty slaying repartee, I imagine, haha).

No doubt if Gary Larson ever gives up on cows, there would be a whole lot of material waiting for him there with the vampire sheep.

3 comments:

mischa said...

for a start i think the vampire sheep simile only extends to the "lurking passively" and not the waiting to be bought, which refers only to the "objects". this would make more sense. why sheep? because they look so simple-minded and innocent - you wouldn't suspect them of being blood-suckers. the connection between antiques and vampire sheep is a little obscure, i agree. perhaps antiques look all dusty and ordinary, but then suddenly you find yourself going home with an armful?

perhaps the recent NZ film "black sheep" could shed some light on this for you. (i haven't seen it, but i think it deals with similar themes.)

rswb said...

I was saddened while writing this blog post to find that "vampire sheep" really was an excellent and relevant metaphor. I still say that it remains ludicrous though.

I think Black Sheep was on at the SFF last year. I didn't see it though (dendy, I think, and I had my hands more than full with the state).

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