Names

Well, the name thing. As I may have mentioned, Reto and I are getting married. I have never really given the idea of getting married much thought at all, but I have always assumed that if I did get married I wouldn't change my surname. I like my name, I disapprove of the patriarchal ramifications of changing my name, it all seems like a lot of effort to go to for something that would probably just annoy me anyway.

Anyway, Reto and I got engaged and talk turned to surnames. The Swiss system [patriarchy!] forces Switzies who get married to both adopt a common surname, and they way it works is heavily slanted towards making it easier to take the man's surname. Because I am not Swiss, Reto and I can opt to embrace the Australian rules and we could just keep our surnames as they are, but we decided to at least consider the options.

Option number one (me taking Reto's surname) was not actually an option, as far as I was concerned. For the reasons above, as well as the fact that I don't really like his surname and that I also apparently pronounce it all wrong like some gauche foreigner.

Option number two (him taking my surname) was apparently also not an option, because my surname is apparently also unlovable and also a bit unpronounceable [in Switzerland].

Option number three (hyphenation of some sort) was too annoying to even contemplate.

Option number four (neither of us changing our surnames) was okay, but I object to the idea of us potentially having kids in the future, and then either Reto or me being the odd one out in terms of surnames. I particularly objected to the idea that everyone would have Reto's surname and so I would be the odd one out in both the family and the country (assuming we are living in Switzerland). At some point I manhandled Reto into promising that all our children could have my surname (although frankly I didn't really believe him, promises made under duress and all) but even that wasn't very satisfactory. I don't want anyone to be the odd one out. Plus I also secretly have no faith in [patriarchal-orama!] Switzerland and the opportunity to give children my surname. Although I also suspect that might be just my paranoia/xenophobia speaking.

Option number 5 (inventing a new surname and both of us going with it) was therefore ideal. Apart of course from the drama of coming up with a name (plucking anything at all out of our imaginations!), agreeing on one that we both liked, making sure it was pronounced the same in both german and english, making sure that it wasn't stupid (/offensive/unintentionally amusing/sounding too much like something else) in either language, making sure it was relatively spellable, it was all a breeze. The only dramas were the psychological trauma of actually changing my name and having a new birth certificate with someone else's name on it (!), the vast financial and temporal costs involved (not to mention the exhaustion of all the running around), and the fact that we have yet to lodge the application in Switzerland for permission for Reto to take my surname after the wedding. Switzerland being the patriarchal wonderland that it is, one has to actually ask permission and give a decent reason as to why you would want to [make the OBVIOUSLY ABNORMAL AND POSSIBLY INSANE decision to] take the woman's surname after wedding.

Best case scenario - everything is straightforward and we will both have the same surname in a few short weeks (or so). Worst case, permission is denied and I will either have to live with my slightly bonkers new surname or go through all the hoo-haa of changing my name back again and Reto will forever be who he currently is. Fingers crossed.