We went to Mogo zoo today, and as I may have mentioned, I hate the sun. As I am certain I have never mentioned before, tamarins (which are these wee little things that look like a monkey crossed with a gremlin. Depending on how good my memory for gremlins is. Here's a picture in case those intervening 20-something years have made me vague/wrong:
(a tamarin. He is actually entranced by my umbrella, which is visible only via the blue glow in the top left corner of the pic)
) seem to be obsessed either with the colour blue (unlikely, because my mother was wearing a blue hat and she wasn't Queen Of The Tamarins. Or maybe they had heard of her dalliance with the meerkats and held it against her) or by umbrellas (perhaps) or by me (well why not?). There were flocks of the furry little things and they were all mysteriously drawn to me. I caught their attention with my blue umbrella, and they stared at me, awed and apparently besotted, for as long as I hung around and let them. They turned their furry little heads as I turned my umbrella. They all leapt (either respectfully or possibly in a terrified fashion) whenever I made any sudden moves. Passers-by stopped to goggle at my powers of tamarin mind-control.
If I give it a little bit more time and patience and perhaps also some thought as to what secret desires I have that could be realised by having a furry army of scary miniature monkey-alikes who would do my bidding the sky could really be the limit. I mean, how could it possibly go wrong?
Mwahahahahahahah, etc.
5 comments:
The words bin and loony pop into my mind, when reading your post.
Play with those words a bit, and guess what I think you're ready for ;)
You megalomaniac you.
Sigh. I thought if anyone would understand it would be you, Nick. I feel like you've let me down (just don't get any further onto my bad side, or you should perhaps start keeping an eye out for furry tamarin attackers come to wreak bloody vengeance. Or something).
Are you threatening me? You DO realize that by doing so, you risk facing the awesome wrath of my horde of inanimate paper clips of doom(tm), yes?
A word of advice - from one aspiring evil overlord to another - never send a monkey to do a paperclip's work...
oh - and speaking of monkeys - you just gotta see this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-cpcoIJbOU
Now combine that with YOUR monkeys, and you're ready to start threatening people ;)
Ha, you and your stationary stationery army don't frighten us! See how me and my monkey allies don't quiver in our ... urm, do mock-monkies wear boots?
Well, either way, we don't quiver!
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